People, Mirrors and Fragments

Click to listen while reading Enduring Hope❤️

Dollz’s Story at the summer camp 

I was five years old 

When I looked into the mirror and saw the most perfect little girl my parents adored 

Then six years came

6 successful years of revolving round the sun

When my class teacher Miss Joan 

With the maroon red lipstick told me 

“You’re simply too slow” 

As I struggled to get my sums correctly. 

Then at church 

Max, the half American full of curiosity

Asked me, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Why are you too black?”

I had no reply for him 

But the question definitely sent me to my mirror. 

And in front of my mirror 

I couldn’t help but notice new lines and cracks reflecting back at me.

Between the ages of six and ten, 

The vibrant memories of love and perfection began to fade. 

Those years were marked by tumult—the beginning of my double life-

A half and quarter with my mum 

And whatever was left with my dad

As my parents separated. 

My once-whole reflection now appeared shattered

As if a superhero had punched right through the glass

Leaving behind a fragmented image of who I used to be.

Fast forward to age eleven 

In secondary school 

Where I was suddenly told I was “too fat” 

At twelve, 

Where I faced the sting of failure

At thirteen, 

When I began to bleed

And my father, who I seldomly saw

Stopped hugging me

At fifteen, 

When I felt all alone in the world

At sixteen, 

When I got into my first relationship 

And became his gym punching bag

Because I thought somehow I deserved his punches

And now at an all time low 

I brought out my long forgotten mirror 

And tried to look for myself 

For who I really am 

But I could no longer see

I was lost in the fragmented pieces.