Imposter's Syndrome: Stop feeling like a Fraud!

I started my blog officially on blogpost about a year ago but kept it to myself for so long because of what I later discovered to have suffered from “the imposter’s syndrome”. I mean, who knew there was a term to describe my feelings of inadequacy to be myself, to start a blog, to be the lead singer for a performance or even to state my opinion in a public gathering? I didn’t know! Maybe if I did I could have snapped myself out of it and my blog will be at least a bit popular by now and maybe an artiste could have signed me up by now (two years of professional singing no  be beans na) lol.

I am in no way saying I don’t experience  it from time to time now because sincerely I do and the funny thing about it is that, it finds a way to resurface when a big opportunity presents itself. This ordinarily should be a giant red warning flag but most of the time, my attention is focused on that inadequacy, that tiny inadequacy and beating myself up to bits mentally because of it.

Having suffered from the feeling and being aware of the effects it could have on an individual, (the lost opportunities, stagnancy, lost friendship and so many other thing I might not be able to talk about today), places a burden on me to talk about this today. At least y’all won’t have to suffer it at all or for long if you’ve been hooked already. I hope you came ready to read and listen. Don’t worry, I will make it as concise as possible so that it will be a short read from here.

So what’ really is this imposter’s syndrome? Basically it’s a psychological pattern that constitutes the feeling of being a fraud or an imposter despite evidence of competency. According to Audrey Ervin, it applies to individuals unable to internalize or own their successes. This simply translates to, you know you're this good at a particular thing lets say a good orator but you do not want to speak publicly because of the fear of you turning out to be not be as good as you think you are.

Valerie Young, an expert in the subject matter has found patterns of the syndrome in the following subgroups of people, 

a. Perfectionist: Anything less than perfection done by this category of people makes them question their competence.

b. Super men/ Super women,: This are the Captain America and Superman without uniforms. They are pressured to be the best wherever they find theirselves. If in any situation, they aren't accomplishing as much they want, they can become stressed and start doubting their usefulness

c. Experts: this are the set of people that wouldn't try to apply for a job if they don't meet the entire requirements. They feel the need to meet all standards and if they default in any,they look for means to be become qualified. When 

d. Soloist: who feel they need to accomplish tasks on their own and if there ever comes the point where they need to ask for help, they begin to doubt their self , worth and capability

e. Natural genius: this set of people naturally find skills easy to acquire, task easy to accomplish and if there is a time they need to put in an extra effort, they see themselves as frauds who got lucky in so many other situations.

If you fall in any of this categories you might want to recall the times the feeling of being an imposter has deterred you for achieveing that goal, talking to that friend, taking that trip, signing that contract, taking those pictures and so on  because the first step to actually stop being a victim of this syndrome is to Identify those feelings

The second is to Observe the pattern. Take conscious note of the times you feel like an imposter especially when you are not meant to, notice the pattern.

The third is Do not engage the thought. Surely, there will be times when you feel like a fraud when playing your own game, the thing to do is not to let it get into your head, let it pass as it came. If the thought sticks, talk it out with your friend, that's what they are they are there for right (and more)

If you are like me and talking it out doesn't always work, i can suggest you Pray. The effect that prayer has and the peace that comes with it cannot be overstated.

I hope this has been really useful to help you overcome those feelings and yeah, i will love to hear your stories. That will be all for now lovelies. 

                                                                                                                                         Ifedolapo