Life With Dolapo

6fts inside  the Atlantic  There you'll find me As I've fallen off the ship I boarded to take me round the world In three months. Unknown to my fellow passengers on board I'm sinking deeper and deeper by the minute My life is flashing right before my own eyes  And in the moment when I thought  I’d finally bid the world goodbye  I see you  You who took my love with you away.  It’s been 20yrs  No 21 years since  Since your face haunted me  In broad daylight  But today in my dying moment  You appear as an apparition  Under water with me  Drawing our shared memories with you  And suddenly, the waters weren't icy  cold on my dark skin Nor was it pitch black to my eyes any longer  And for the moment I forget that  I am drowning Drowning Hinging closer to death by the minute  As you already are So, no one hears me scream Because I'm not screaming for help  Neither am I trying to swim against the negative push The ocean is exerting on my body I just stay  Literally to death

Don’t give me a taste  Of what could be  If you’re not ready to go all in For my heart has been yearning  For its strings to be played For the longest time And my mind has lived on Rather vivid pictures or imaginations  Of the kind of love I want  And how it could feel like. So, you see My heart is soft yet strong  Open and waiting  Even for a flicker of hope  Of what I’ve waited for  And of what I’m still waiting for. So hope right now is dangerous  So maybe I should just stay away from you  Because I’m incapable of being friends with you  But I love you this much  And because I know that’s all you want  I still stay at the expense of my mind being a mess  Just to be your friend  Maybe this is what Sam Smith felt When he sang “Love is a losing game” Ifedolapo

My man!!! Yes, I said that  I’m glad I get to say that out loud  Even if it’s just in text  You’re all I can think about right now  Even though I’ve not met you  Imagine what my headspace  Will be like  When I finally have you in my life  It will be  My man, my man, my man!!! Oh my goshhhhhhh Can you feel the excitement  In which this words are drenched  This is how good and exhilarating it feels When I wonder about you  As I’m clueless to what kind of name you’ll come bearing  I’ll have to relegate you to this rather cute but common term of “my man” throughout this text  Do you know that  On some days I just make a list of the probable names you might bear Going over them in my head one after the other  It’s usually like  Will you be a Femi or an Ade  Maybe a Chinedu or Chigozie Or a Malik or Housseni  I honestly do not know 😂 And the suspense almost has me in a bind  But one thing I do know is  My father will flip at the thought of this  Of me having a man that doesn’t have an “Ade”